when people put pictures of their dicks on tumblr I allways wonder what their non-penile hobbies are, and whether they truly think it makes us all go all 

and start furiously masturbating, when actually the reaction is generally a spitty guffaw, like that time I recieved two sexts when I was in government + politics, a sort snorting fnar-fnaaaar noise

my favourite rihanna song is the autotuned one where she sings about cock + writhes around looking provocative